On Easter Sunday 2016, I prayed and asked God to see His heart as the Father of Jesus. As I prayed, God shared with me a vision of our daughter, Kristen, walking away from us holding Jesus’ hand. As I saw the vision, God asked if I would see sin differently if it were my child that had to die for sin. Over the next two months I struggled with God over the vision. Each time I struggled with Him, His grace always prevailed.
The pain, the sorrow, the frustration, and the fury of my struggle were swallowed up in the glory of His presence. Each intimate moment with God’s Spirit is a taste of heaven and the eternal glory that lies beyond. God was gentle with me as I struggled against the inevitable. He carried me through the trial like a ship being carried by the wind and the waves. I turned one way and then the other, looking for a way out of the storm. In the end, God’s love guided me on a course that would bring peace to my spirit as He worked all things together for good.
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (NASB Romans 8:28)
I don’t believe God caused Kristen’s accident but I do believe He allowed me a taste of His foreknowledge in answer to my prayer to see His heart… A heart that was broken as He watched His Son suffer and die for sin.